RESTLESS DAY 3 - 16/10/08

(Anna) So this is day 3, thursday

(Tom) Day 3 Blues!

And Tom's feeling really restless so i'm in on the memo as well.

I'm feeling really restless, really down and i kinda want to get up and do something but i cant obviously and i cant see and it still hurts and it doesnt look like the bloodshot eye has gone down anywhere and its stilll hurting in the top left hand corner of my eye like when i blink or open my eyes and stuff, its the only bit that really does, the rest of the eye feels really fine but this one little area is really really hurting and um and its really annoying and horrible and.... and..... Bleaauugghhh!

And Tom said to me, today he's going to go for a walk, and i said no you are not! That was a bit of a turning point, because i turned around and meekly said....... OK! Ok so yeah, i think this is where my job hets a bit more difficult,cos i have to..... ah the phone is ringing.....

..........Ok, memo resumed after talking to my friend, Andy, asking how it all went, and um......

Its so difficult handing everything over to Anna to do, like, i'm such an indipendant person, i likw doing things myself and everything, Understand that as stubborn! Stubborn, yeah! and like just then i picked up this dictaphone and i went to switch it on and um, i had to tell myself, no, put it down and let Anna do it. and its just so difficult. Cos i want to do these things but then i can't! and it feels horrible!!!

Even getting your drops out of the fridge. Yeah. We have a small bedside fridge, but even so, straining yourself to lean over and open the door and..I wasnt reallty straining to lean over to begin with, it was only the fact that i leant over to take the stuff out of the fridge, i was naked cos my jamas are in the wash, and i thought it was my nan coming up the stairs. by bums showing, and my bits are dangling, i'm trying to get the drops, then had to strain to get the drops and get back into bed and covered up quickly, and it turned out to be just you.

So, anyway..... yeah. Definately day 3 is the day of restlessness! Yep! Tom just wants to flex his muscles and do things. The aneasthetic is kinda wearing off now and....... you know...... I could probably do with some more maybe?! Yes, lets go and get you some more drugs.

I think your eye is healing really well! Well I think it hurts to buggery! Well you did miss your 1st ibuprofen of the day! You know what, i dont think that Ibuprofen does much to stop the pain, its paracetamol that does it, the painkiller. Ibuprofen is an anti-inflamatory drug so it takes down the swelling.

Oh one good thing i suppose. This morning, my eye wasn't stuck together. Yay! I dont know if that because i woke up loads in the night and i kept opening my eyes or not, but it just wasnt stuck together, so i could open it this morning, every other morning, its been properly stuck together, we have had to bathe it and soak it and wipe all the gunk out. The gunk is definately white today which is good.

Memo day 3 over? Yep, why not. I guess you can tell by the depressing tone of my voice how i am feeling really.

Yeah Bye! Bye!

DAY 2 - 15/10/08

JUST GOT HOME - DAY-1 14/10/08 1pm

Hello Just got home and have been sorted out with my bed, and pillows and something to eat. My eye has begun to get a bit more cloudy, i hope this is normal. Anna is taking really good, REALLY GOOD care of me. Its really nice... erm I am of course worrying about my eye, just thinking that it's not supposed to be like that but then its not really my job to do so, i think annas sort of... well.... i've got to listen to Anna.... She's the boss! Yeah so, i'm all settled in, just going to lie down and catch up with some more harry potter audio-book, which is pretty cool. Everyone is happy for me to be back and i'm er really happy with how the operation has gone. It has been really wierd, like with my right eye i can still see all the keratoconic stuff, the... erm... 6x vision and all the bits in between, and with my left eye, although its really going cloudy and fuzzy, i can see that the keratoconus side of things is really depreciated and i can almost see like pin-dots for the lights, instead of all the rings round it and stuff, so i'v got quite good, um quite hopeful for what is going to come of it all. Ooh, there we go (alarm going off in the background) its time for my next dose of Dexa, so i'd better get that done. Bye

PRESERVATIVE FREE DROPS

Hi Before i came in for the operation i heard a doctor talking about drops on the KC conference 2005 (availiable from the keratoconus support group - link below) The doctor said that he would advise against drops with preservative as they are a form of toxin. I decided that if i'm going to all the bother of an invasive PK, i would like the best after care as well. Therefore i would like preservative free drops to aid my best recovery possible. I have been prescribed Dexamethasone every 2 hours and Chloramphenicol 4x a day. The hospital has had trouble finding drops without preservative. They finally found me some this morning (day 1) Before i came into hospital, i aquired a miniature fridge to keep the drops chilled beside my bed, and for when i het back to work, the chlora is supposed to be kept refrigerated.

THE DAY AFTER THE OP - DAY 1 - 14/10/08

Hello.

Its Tuesday morning, day after the operation and i feel like i'm doing quite well.

The last one, obviously they had just taken the patch off and everything, err vision is a little bit cloudier in that eye today than it was last night. I hope that it's nothing major but, yep not too sure.

Dr Anderson has just seen me and had a good look, he says there is some deposit on the lens but the lens is looking very nice, everything has gone very well.

I'm looking like i have been beaten up, my eye has gone really big and puffy and everything and..... just...... yeah, feeling a bit down so far just cos it's like, the day after and mainly that the vision has gone down a bit but, can't really do much about that.

I have a 1 week check up in a bit, earlier than 1 week in fact its 3 days, so im having thursday evening at another hospital i'v got to go to, they are gonna come up and give me a err... apointment soon.

I still feel very woozy from yesterday, and just really looking forward to spending the next 3 weeks in bed and hopefully this will begin to get better, and sort of stabilise a bit.

Its still amazing that i can sort of see out of it, i wasn't expecting to be able to see anything to begin with, i thought it was gonna be really cloudy and hazy, it wasnt and now its beginning to get that way which is a bit annoying. If Dr Anderson comes to see me before i go, i will have to let him know that.

I forgot to ask him some stuff like what do i need to look out for do i need to make a... sss.... like if it starts to go really bad, do i need to come back in and stuff like that? so. i dunno? I might need to ask some questions, maybe i will ask the nurse next time she comes round, see what she thinks.

Ok

There we go

Its 20 past 9 in the morning, over and out...

THE BANDAGES COME OFF - 10:20pm 13/10/08

Hi Erm something amazing has just happened. They,ve just taken the bandages off for the first time, its about 20 past 10. And err, I can see, my left eye, i can actually see out of it, i can see what time it is on the wall, i was able to see what the numbers were on my err ipod and everything and in the distance i can kind of see the lights without having all the things around it all the distortion and everything, it's all still a bit fuzzy and it will be for a while i guess but, i can... I can see. Like its much better than my right eye. In fact at the moment its not too far off the vision i used to have, with having a lens over the top of it. erm, Its hurting quite a bit on the top, the top eyelid, but apart from that it's really good. oh and its, i'm crying a lot out of that eye cos its quite painful, but she said that there was hardly anything to clean up, its erm all very good and i'm just.... Im just astounded, its amazing its really good, i just cant believe it, i keep looking with it. It hasnt got the keratoconic stuff going on, i'v got a bit of fuzzyness around the lights but thats about it. Whoohoo, Yay. Right speak to you again soon.

POST OP - about 2pm 13/10/08

Hello

I'm back from theatre, like a couple of hours later and um.... Annas here and i'm feeling really groggy, my voice has changed a lot since before the op when i was completely freaking out.

Everything's good, i've got a bit of a headache from um, the err, aneasthetic. I'v still got a needle in the back of my hand from putting me under. An arm band round um to sort out my erm blood pressure. I'v got a big eye patch on, a big like plastic thing. Can you see my eye underneath it? (to anna) Its clear plastic?

Oh, i've got a dressing on......which is why i cant open my eye, of course!

Erm yeah, i havn't opened my eye yet, but every time that i look around with the other eye, my eyeball moves underneath the eyelid on my left eye, and it feels like they havnt done the operation at all, it feels like instead they have lifted up my eyelids and poured the contents of a sandbag in it. I think its the stiches that are rubbing on the inside of it.

And you know when you wake up like completely dry eyed, you cant open your eye to begin with and your eyeball is stuck to the inside of your eyelid? It feels a little like that!

So umm, just lying up, sitting up in the bed at the moment, waiting for a cup of tea, and a sandwich, and anna's here having joined my just about 10 minutes ago.

Recovery continues.......

JUST BEFORE THE OPERATION - 8am 13/10/08

Hello

I'm just about to go and get everything sorted. I've had eyedrops and i'm in my fancy dressing gown, mum is accross the room from me and i'm beginning to feel a bit nervous about it all.

(mum says hello from across the room)

yeah so, everyone seems to be taking really good care of me. Dr Anderson is nice, The ferrero roche hasnt arrived yet ;-) but other than that, its all good.

They recon i'll be on top of the list so, see you on the other side.

You can make out on these photos, the cloudy patch from my hydrops episode, this is 5 months later so it has cleared up a lot since it first happened.